12 Tips for Making Friends and Keeping Them



One of the many truths about getting married, having kids, and going through the many changes in life is that your friendships change. Think about it: think about how many friends you have lost contact with and how many friends have entered your life.

There just may be a friendship you didn't expect in your near future.  We have discovered from our own personal experience and from the advice of other women the top twelve ways to keep friends and make new ones.

1. Be a friend. 
To have a friend, be a friend.

2. Be a good listener.
Listening may be the most important part of your friendships. There is often more joy in listening than in hearing yourself talk.  It lets you know you're needed.  You ought to love to hear about your friends' lives.  You ought to like to be a part of their life story.

3. Be a talker.
Communicate.  Let your friends know how you feel.  Communication ought to relax you. Talk is emotional food for your female soul.  It sustains you.  It makes you feel good.  When you aren't able to talk, you starve. It's not because you need to vent or gripe--although it's great to do that.  Talk equals connection.  It gives you hope and makes you feel wanted.

4. Loose lips sink friendships.
When secrets are shared, keep them.

5. Be supportive.
Be encouraging.  Wherever two or more women are gathered in the name of friendship, therein is a support group.  It's one big happy therapy session.  It's even better than going to a therapist, because a true friend will dish and drink with you.  Also, moms share so many of the same issues, they can come up with answers to the problems that plague you.

6. Share ideas.
Share your enthusiasm.  Positive exchanges build positive foundations and it's a great way to start a friendship.  Women are full of brilliant and creative ideas, and you can get energized by bouncing your ideas off them.  Ideas for making money, decorating, and losing weight without exercising or giving up any food make for great girlfriend brainstorming sessions.

7. Remember, you're not perfect and neither are your friends.

8. Do nice things without expecting anything in return.

9. Be yourself.
Be authentic.  Don't try to be someone you're not just to be friends.  A friendship built on false identities will fail.

10. Stay in touch.
We're big advocates of sending e-mail.  it's quick, it's easy, and it lets your friends know you're thinking of them.  A handwritten note, a phone call, a lunch date, or getting together for whatever reason is always a good idea.

11. Open your heart.
It may feel risky and it is.  There's always a chance of rejection.  However, when you open  your heart and it is received, a true friendship emerges.

12. Laugh together.
Norman Cousins and UCLA research teams proved that laughter has many medical benefits, including lowering blood pressure, strengthening the immune system, and relieving stress.

One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives. -- Euripedes

 Find these tips and more in It's All About You; Live the Life You Crave (Chapter 8)
by MomsTown founders Heather Reider and Mary Goulet.